


End of a Season

by Rochelle_Templer



Category: All Creatures Great and Small (TV), All Creatures Great and Small - James Herriot
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Pre-Canon, but with some tragedy mixed in, childhood fic, just indulging my head canons here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-23 19:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15612987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rochelle_Templer/pseuds/Rochelle_Templer
Summary: As a child, Siegfried had everything he could possibly wish for: a nice home, doting parents and any material things he really wanted.There was, however, one other thing Siegfried wanted dearly that he hadn’t been able to get yet.A younger brother.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As I mentioned in my tags, this is a pre-canon fic which is told from the perspective of my OC version of Siegfried and Tristan's father.   
> I got to thinking about how much of an age difference there is between the TV versions of Siegfried and Tristan with no other siblings to fill that gap. Consequently, I started to wonder how that could have unfolded in the Farnon household, and thus, this fic came to me. 
> 
> As I also mentioned in my tags, I'm pretty much extrapolating this from my own head canons which I'm sure differ from other fans'. Still, I hope my readers will enjoy my ideas and the story that was inspired by them....

_"Ah, when to the heart of man/ Was it ever less than a treason/To go with the drift of things/ To yield with a grace to reason/And bow and accept the end/Of a love or a season?"_ \-- _Robert Frost, "Reluctance"_

* * *

Before this morning, if anyone had asked Edward Farnon what the happiest day of his life was, he would answered, without hesitation, that it was the day he had married Daphne Williamson, the woman he knew would be the love of his life. How could anything match the wonder he felt in the moment when he knew that he would spent the rest of his years with someone so dear to him? How could any other happiness compare?

It wasn’t until today, a day that had barely begun with the sun just starting to be visible in the sky, that Edward discovered how mistaken he had been. A day when his son was born and he held him in his arms for the first time.

As he sat in a chair next to the window, Edward glanced occasionally at the parting clouds that faded in the rising light, but for the most part, he was lost in the deep blue of his new infant son’s eyes. It was then that he understood why so many people rhapsodized over the joys of parenthood and realized that he hadn’t even been aware of how much he had longed to be a father.

It had also taken a lot of prodding from the midwife to finally convince him to give the baby back to Daphne so he could be nursed.

“Go on, get away with you,” the midwife had scolded. “This baby needs his mother’s minding now.”

Once he had handed his son over, Edward still refused to leave the room. He turned the chair he had been sitting in around and sat back down, leaning forward onto the back of it, his long legs restlessly bouncing on either side of it.

As he watched his wife and newborn son, music filled his brain. Pieces of his favorite Wagnerian operas sang through his head.  Those operas had been played in his rooms constantly as he had begun his graduate work in chemistry. Now, however, the music had acquired a new life with their tales of birth and struggle and love taking on even more meaning to him.

_‘Siegfried….’_

Edward smiled. It couldn’t be a coincidence that the name of one of the heroes from those stories had popped into his head while he was watching his son. What a fine name that could be for his boy. A perfect name. One of strength and determination and loyalty.

“Siegfried,” he murmured, the smile never leaving his face, even hours later.

* * *

 

The next few years of Edward’s life had been hectic, but happy.

It had taken plenty of hard work, but he had managed to complete his graduate work in less time than usual for his field. Granted, it helped that both his and Daphne’s father had been willing to give them a living allowance so that Edward could concentrate on his studies and his new family. Still, it had also meant many long, sleepless nights until he could finish and find work at a research lab that had just been built on the outskirts of the Dales in Yorkshire.

Raising his son, Siegfried, had kept him equally busy. As soon as he could walk, Siegfried had taken to the fields and hills, determined to explore every inch of the countryside around him. Once he was able to read, a feat he had accomplished before he had started primary school, his son’s thirst for knowledge exploded.

As a result, every day was a restless procession of learning, wandering, and more than a little spirited activity. This was welcomed when it meant hours of play in the gardens and with the animals Edward kept at their country house. It wasn’t as ideal when it involved Siegfried disappearing from the back yard and being brought home by a constable who had found him strolling along the streets by himself later in the evening.

Still, Edward had taken it all with good humor. Siegfried was an industrious child and an obedient one most of the time. However, he was also an impatient boy who could easily become frustrated if he was forced to stick with something long after he had grown bored with it.

A decidedly problematic trait to have when it came time for Siegfried to attend school.

* * *

 

“Mr. Farnon, your son tried to walk out of class before the bell had rung. And he refused to finish the reading I had assigned him that day.”

“That’s just it, my dear, he had finished it. So when you didn’t give him anything else to do, he thought it best to go find something else that could interest him.”

“He couldn’t have finished it that quickly. And he simply can’t go wandering the halls whenever he feels like it.”

“Now, now, Miss Fisher, you should know by now how exceptional Siegfried is. I can assure you that he did do the work you assigned him. He just needs something to maintain his interest is all.”

Confrontations like this were not uncommon with Siegfried being such a willful student, especially when they involved teachers who disliked any sort of disruption to their plans and routines. Thankfully, Siegfried’s excellent academic record and Edward’s skillful use of the Farnon charm were enough to smooth over any problems that arose due to Siegfried’s unconventional behavior.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, it wasn’t long before Edward distinguished himself at work and was able to earn a generous enough salary to easily pay for the home they lived in, plenty of comforts for their home, and put aside money for his son’s education.

It all meant that, at least on the surface, Siegfried had everything he could possibly wish for: a nice home, doting parents and any material things he really wanted.

There was, however, one other thing Siegfried wanted dearly that he hadn’t been able to get yet: a younger brother.

Siegfried had only been in primary school for a month before he started talking about how much he wished he had a little brother to play with and that desire did not wane in the least over the next couple of years.

“Charlie Mills has a brother,” Siegfried would tell them. “And he says they go out fishing together. And, Davy Barker says he’s going camping with his brother when he gets old enough. I want a brother to do stuff with too.”

Fortunately for Siegfried, it was a wish Edward shared with him.

“Just you wait, Siegfried,” he would tell him. “Your mother and I…well, we’re working on getting you a little brother or sister before too long. Don’t you worry about that.”

Such talks were usually just enough to encourage Siegfried to exercise a little more patience for a while. There weren’t many people who could placate Siegfried completely when he wanted something so badly, but Edward always had a way of reaching his son even when no one else did.

Granted, it wasn’t always easy given the stubborn, temperamental streak that Siegfried had developed, but Edward merely saw that as a healthy challenge for him to work through and did nothing to discourage his son’s tenacious nature.

Instead, Edward tried to redirect Siegfried’s enthusiasm to take care of a brother into an ever increasing interest in animals. Edward had moved to their current home with a dog and a cat of his own. It wasn’t long though before their menagerie of pets grew with more dogs, cats, birds and even horses and a donkey joining the mix.

Siegfried had been delighted by the growing number of animals he could spend time with and help take care of. Edward never had to remind him of any chores related to their care, and Siegfried often spent more time with them than he did with the toys in his room. Mealtimes were often filled with Siegfried’s stories about what he had seen the various animals doing, about his latest observations of the local wildlife, and about any stray dogs and cats he had seen in the local village.

“…and old Jenkins in the village. He said he had a cat that would run up a tree to fetch a ball. Father, can we teach Percy to do that? He likes running after mice. I saw one in his mouth just the other day. Oh and Mrs. Boyd, she said that dogs will always see better if you give them fish once a week. Shouldn’t we do that?”

Edward had always listened to these spiels with interest. He knew that some people considered Siegfried rather tetchy and impetuous at times. He wished those people could see how genuine his son’s concern was for every living thing that crossed his path. That they could witness nights when Siegfried sat up comforting a sick dog or the dismay he showed whenever one of the horses showed any signs of illness. 

Edward knew his son already had a large, caring heart. It just needed more and more outlets for the compassion he carried inside him.

* * *

 

Then came the exciting day when Siegfried had just turned seven years old and Edward had sat him down on his lap to tell him something important.

“Siegfried, from now on, you’ll need to be mindful of your mother and to make as little fuss as possible. She will need the house to be kept as quiet and peaceful. Do you understand?”

Siegfried’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Why? Is Mother sick?”

“No, no,” Edward smiled at him. “Nothing like that. No, your mother…she’s expecting.”

It took several seconds for Siegfried to process this information. Once he did, he nearly leapt out of Edward’s lap.

“You mean…a little brother? I’m getting a little brother!”

“Maybe, Siegfried, maybe,” Edward laughed. He grinned at him and patted his back. “Now keep in mind, you may end up with a little sister instead. There’s no way to know yet.”

Siegfried’s smile twisted into a pout. “I want a brother.”

“Now, Siegfried, that’s not our decision to make,” Edward gently chided. “We’ll just have to see what happens. Until then, you must remember what I told you. Mother needs rest and quiet so she can concentrate on taking care of herself and of the baby growing inside her. Promise me you’ll do your best for her.”

“I promise,” Siegfried said, his face solemn.

Edward nodded, his smile growing as he pulled his son close to him. Siegfried squirmed, his excitement making him restless, but he soon snuggled against his father’s chest.

“Soon, Siegfried,” Edward murmured, holding his son close. “You won’t be alone for much longer.”

* * *

 

Although the next few months seemed to fly by, Edward suspected that they weren’t passing fast enough for Siegfried.

His son did just manage to behave quietly and calmly around the house. Although, part of that was because he spent any time he had left after finishing his studies outside, tending to the animals and camping in the nearby moors. Recently, Siegfried had come up with a whole new regimen for feeding their pets which he made sure to explain in detail to Edward. He had also started to teach one of the dogs some tricks like fetching, speaking, and sitting up, an accomplishment Siegfried seemed to believe would come in very handy indeed once he had a little brother to mind.

Edward was charmed by Siegfried’s growing enthusiasm for their impending addition to the Farnon household. He couldn’t stop grinning every time his son marveled at Daphne’s growing belly and asked her about the baby. Some people had tried to warn him that Siegfried might become jealous of the new baby, but he doubted that would happen. Even as a small boy, Siegfried was far too generous for that.

No, this new child would have an elder brother who would welcome him or her into his home and his life.

* * *

 

Then came the night when Daphne woke him up in the middle of the night, three weeks before the baby was due.

“Edward….oh Edward, I think the baby is coming early…..”

Edward had wasted no time in calling someone over to mind the house and Siegfried before rushing Daphne to the midwife. Siegfried had been asleep at the time, and Edward hoped that, by the time his son woke up, he would be able to deliver the good news.

Only an hour had passed when Edward found out that something was wrong.

“Mr. Farnon, we need to call the doctor over here right away. Quickly, before it’s too late!”

Then came another long, anxious three hours before Edward heard any more. When the doctor finally did come down the steps to talk to him, he looked weary.

“I am sorry, Mr. Farnon. Your wife…she will be fine. She’ll recover. But I’m afraid the baby was stillborn.”

Just a few words, but they had the power to almost knock Edward to the ground. It took him several minutes to regain his senses enough to listen to more of the doctor’s explanations. His wife would have to be admitted to the hospital for a couple of days. Edward traveled to the hospital with her and waited until she was asleep again to go home.

Once he walked inside, Edward had thought about lying face down on his bed for as long as he could. Before he could take even one step toward his room, however, Siegfried ran out to greet him, a joyous smile on his face.

“Father, is the baby here? When can I see my brother?”

Siegfried was nearly bouncing with anticipation, waiting for any word about the new sibling he expected to have. Before, Edward would have laughed and joined in with Siegfried’s exuberance.

Now, it just broke his heart a little more.

“Siegfried…come here and sit with me.”

The two of them sat down in the living room. A few seconds after he had settled in with Siegfried on his lap, Edward realized that this was the same chair where he had first told Siegfried about the baby. A part of him wanted to move, but he simply could not find the energy.

“Siegfried,” Edward took a deep shuddering breath. “Your mother tried very hard to stay healthy while she was expecting, but…but something happened and she got sick. Very sick.”

Siegfried’s eyes widened and he gripped Edward’s arms with tight fists. “Is Mother all right?”

“Yes, yes, thank Providence she will be fine,” Edward assured him. “But Siegfried…I’m sorry, but she lost the baby.”

Siegfried’s mouth fell open, and in the back of his mind, Edward mused that he had never seen his son look so shocked before. It wasn’t long though before shock turned into anger. Anger and hurt.

“No! No….you said….you said I’d have a brother. You promised!.”

Edward shook his head, his eyes growing watery. He didn’t even wince as Siegfried’s grip on his arms tightened even more. Nor did he scold his son for raising his voice like that.  No, Edward couldn’t find fault with how Siegfried was acting.

Not when it was the other half of the crushing grief he already felt.

Edward drew his son close, embracing him tightly.

“I’m sorry, Siegfried,” he whispered. “I, I’m so sorry.”

Siegfried buried his face against his shoulder, and Edward listened to the muffled sounds of his son’s angry sobs, patting his back gently to comfort him.

Hoping that Siegfried wouldn’t hear the choked sounds of grief which occasionally escaped his throat.


	2. Chapter 2

Not a word was spoken about that loss once Daphne returned from her stay at the hospital. It was almost as if the last few months had become a blank spot in the family’s history, one that none of them would ever revisit.

It didn’t take long for Edward to decide that that was for the best. He quietly hid the things he had bought for the baby away in the attic and once his wife had recovered, he decided to take on some new projects at work.

Siegfried dealt with the situation in his own way, part of which involved putting in even more time with the family’s pets. Soon, it wasn’t enough for him to take care of them as he had been. Now, Siegfried wanted to know more: about how their bodies worked and how to take care of them when they were hurt or injured.

Daphne thought it was a nice hobby for Siegfried to pick up, but Edward suspected that it was more than that. He made sure to find as many books as he could for Siegfried to read about animals and even asked the local vet about texts that would be appropriate for a boy his son’s age. Edward’s one caveat was for Siegfried to not allow his interest in animals to cause him to neglect his other studies. Thankfully, Siegfried heeded his instructions and Edward was pleased when his son continued to show a rounded, but excellent standard of academic achievement.

Still, even with all the new ways that Siegfried kept himself busy, Edward couldn’t help but notice that his son had not given up on the idea of getting a younger brother. He never mentioned it to his mother, but every once in a while, like when the two of them went out riding together, Siegfried would bring the matter up.

“I’m afraid it’s in much higher hands than ours now, Siegfried,” Edward would tell him. “If God is willing, then it will happen. All we can do is hope that our prayers will be answered.”

The stormy expression that always appeared on Siegfried’s face told Edward plenty about his son’s frustration and dissatisfaction over that answer. He couldn’t blame Siegfried for that. Even though he loved his family dearly, Edward did harbor some resentful feelings of his own over how unfair it was that they weren’t blessed with another child. That he couldn’t give Siegfried the one thing that he knew his son wanted more than almost anything else.

Months stretched into years. Siegfried continued to grow into a healthy, exceptional young man. Just as important to Edward, his son had done his best to bring comfort and happiness into his mother’s life. As Siegfried got older, Edward became certain that he would mature into a fine gentleman with a proper affection and respect for women.

Still, there was the lingering hope that Siegfried would not be his only child. A hope that had begun to diminish with the passage of time.

* * *

 

That is, until shortly before Siegfried’s twelfth birthday when that hope was renewed.

Edward had taken his son out for ride into the moors when he shared the news.

“Siegfried, we’ve been given another chance. Mind you, it’s a shaky one, but the doctor seems to think it might still be possible for this baby to make it through. However, we must be extra careful again for her and for the baby. I know you know what that means: helping her with any tasks that you can, keeping the house quiet and peaceful….”

Siegfried nodded, but then smirked at him. “Does that mean no more Wagner in the evenings? And the weekends? And….”

Edward tried to give his son a stern warning look, but couldn’t keep the smile out of his eyes. “Well…I’m sure I could adjust the volume, even if you don’t get the full experience that way.”

Siegfried chuckled, and Edward wasn’t able to stop himself from joining in. However, after a minute, he did manage to go back to a more serious demeanor again.

“Siegfried…I know you are still hoping for a brother, but I do hope that you won’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out that way. Remember, no matter what we are given, boy or girl, this child will be a gift for all of us.”

Siegfried nodded his head slowly. “I know. Don’t worry, Father. I’ll help you take care of Mother.”

Edward smiled at him. He knew that Siegfried still wanted a brother even if his son wouldn’t say it out loud. He also knew though that Siegfried would keep to his word to take care of his family even if he didn’t get his wish.

It was a comfort in the midst of all the uncertainty he felt for his wife and unborn child to know that he could still rely on Siegfried, his rather idiosyncratic and yet compassionate son, to provide the support he so desperately needed.

* * *

 

This began another score of months spent in quiet and yet eager anticipation.

For his part, Edward felt it best to keep his excitement about Daphne’s pregnancy mostly to himself in her presence. Partially to keep the atmosphere in the house calm, but also so his wife would not think that he would be disappointed in her if something went wrong.

However, whenever he spent time alone with Siegfried, he didn’t hold back.

“To become a father a second time….I can’t think of anything better,” he said with a dreamy smile. Then he would put an arm around Siegfried’s shoulders. “And you will be a very fine older brother, Siegfried. I just know it.”

Just like the last time, Siegfried began to make all sorts of plans and preparations for his soon-to-be sibling.

“I know a great spot on the moors where we can go camping,” Siegfried would tell him. “That place we went to last year? You know where we caught all those fish? We’ll go there and I’ll show him how to camp. And I’ll show him how to fish too. We just need another fishing pole. Or I’ll just let him borrow mine until he gets good at it. Oh and we’ll need a bedroll for him too. And I’ll make sure to have him ride on Trudy when I teach him to ride a horse because she’s gentle. And we should get another dog too, so he can have a pet of his own. I’ll show him how to teach it all sorts of tricks.”

Sometimes, Edward would ask Siegfried how he expected to find time to do all of this and still tend to his studies, but for the most part, he simply took in all of Siegfried’s elaborate plans to train his potential younger sibling with good humor.  Besides, it made him happy to know that his second child would never want for attention or affection.

Not with Siegfried almost bursting with enthusiasm for the chance to have someone to look after besides his numerous pets.

* * *

 

Unfortunately, tragedy came even sooner than it had the last time.

Edward had come home early that afternoon, hours before Siegfried was due to be home from school, to find his wife passed out on the living room floor. He had rushed her to the hospital, hoping with every fiber of his being that there was still a chance that both his Daphne and the baby could be spared.

That hope was dashed away only a couple of hours later. The doctor had been as understanding and sympathetic as he could, but Edward could only focus on his grief, deep, bitter and unrelenting.

He came home to find Siegfried waiting for him in that same living room, a jarring mixture of delight and apprehension clear on his son’s face.

“Father?”

Edward struggled to maintain his composure. He was both overwhelmed and completely drained and wanted nothing more than to be left alone. But there was that part of him, that part that was deeply ingrained in the core of his being, which simply refused to neglect his son for even a moment.

“Siegfried…sit down.”

Siegfried promptly obeyed, plopping down onto the couch behind him. Edward slowly lowered himself onto a chair opposite of him.

“Siegfried….Mother, she…she lost the baby.”

Siegfried’s mouth dropped open, anger and sorrow once again welling up in his eyes. “But, but why? You said…we did everything the doctor told us to do. And you said she was doing so well this time. Why…why did she….?”

“It was nothing we did or didn’t do, Siegfried,” Edward cut in, his tone far more abrupt than it normally was with his son. “Mother, she….” He cleared his throat. “There were complications. Worse than the last time.”

Siegfried’s lips trembled. “Mother…is she….?”

“She’ll be all right, Siegfried, but the doctor, he thinks….” Edward stopped and blinked rapidly. “The doctor doubts that she’ll be able to have any more children now.”

A lead weight, cold and hard, pressed onto Edward’s heart. Until that moment, the doctor’s words at the hospital hadn’t really sunk in. But the act of telling Siegfried made that proclamation real to him at last. This had been their last chance and now it was gone. He would never get to experience all the joys of fatherhood a second time. Siegfried would remain an only child.

Edward lowered his head. After so many years had passed without another child, the thought that this could be the outcome had occurred to him more than once. But that did not take away any of the hurt he felt when faced with this finality.

Suddenly, he felt a pair of hands on his arms, and Edward looked up. Siegfried was crouched in front of him, sadness and concern written into every line of his face.

Edward responded by grabbing his son and holding him close.

“Siegfried…my son,” he murmured. “My precious boy….”

Edward felt silent while Siegfried clung to him. Even while crushed by grief, he could still feel gratitude for Siegfried’s presence as he was certain that he would have fallen to pieces by now without it.

He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on Siegfried. He renewed his vow to make sure that his son would never want for anything and that his wife would know just how much he would always love her.

He still had a family, and he would take care of them. But he would also close his heart to the dream of having any more children. That dream was over.

* * *

 

Once again, the passage of time turned out to be the balm that was sorely needed in the Farnon household.

Edward had worked his way to another promotion in the laboratory which meant he could finally hire assistants to handle much of his workload and spend more time with his family. Once Daphne had regained her health, she decided to reignite her interest in music and began teaching the local children how to play piano mainly as a hobby.

Meanwhile, Siegfried had become both a proficient rider and an expert hand in taking care of horses. He also continued to excel in school which eventually led to his declaration that he would study to become a veterinary surgeon.

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Edward had laughed when Siegfried informed him. “You always were mad about animals. But I am also very proud of you, Siegfried. I’m certain that you will be an exceptional vet.”

Life continued on this happy trajectory for several years until one summer, after Siegfried’s fifteenth birthday, when Daphne began to complain of feeling fatigued. Edward had hoped that a holiday would help solve the problem, but while it had been restful, she continued to feel unlike her usual self.

While Daphne had tried to tell him that it wasn’t anything to really worry about, Edward insisted on her seeing a doctor, refusing to take any chances with his wife’s health.

* * *

 

A week later, he went on a walk with Siegfried to share the startling results of that consultation.

“Siegfried…your mother is expecting again.”

Siegfried stopped in midstride, his eyes bulging. “Expecting? But…you…the doctor said that she couldn’t….”

“Believe me, no one was as surprised as your mother and I,” Edward said. “Well, I’m sure the doctor came pretty close. I’ve never seen him that flabbergasted in all my life. Still is, I imagine. To be honest, I thought he was going to tell us that your mother had some terrible illness…and instead, this. You really should have seen the look on his face.”

Edward laughed. Up until now, he had remained in a daze about the whole thing. It had just seemed too unreal to be true. But seeing the reaction on Siegfried’s face finally made the news sink in. He laughed again even though he was still unsure how to feel about it all.

After another moment of laughter, he took a deep breath and placed a hand onto his son’s shoulder.

“Siegfried, you mother…she has a feeling about this time. It’s not something she’s been able to put her finger on or explain to me, but….. Well, she is convinced that this time will be different. I don’t know why. I’m not sure if even she knows why. But she believes it nevertheless. And while I can’t forget about what’s happened before….”

Edward shook his head and patted his son’s shoulder. “I can’t deny her this, Siegfried. I want to let her believe in a miracle. Maybe because I want to believe it too. I don’t know.”

Siegfried nodded, but Edward could see the doubt in his son’s eyes. Justified doubt. Siegfried had had his hopes built up before and then had them dashed to bits. How could he expect his son to share in this fervent wish that everything would work out this time? It made his heart ache, but Edward could not begrudge him for having that doubt.

“It means, Siegfried, that we will need to make some sacrifices this time,” he continued. “It’s the only way to give Mother and the child she is carrying any chance at all. And I’m sorry to make you share this burden, but I….”

“It’s all right,” Siegfried blurted out. “If…if Mother needs it….”

Edward gave him a sad smile, clasping Siegfried’s shoulder. “She will, but it’s not just her. This is something we all need, Siegfried. All of us. Please understand that.”

Siegfried nodded again, but Edward could still see the wariness in his son’s eyes. Siegfried would not let him down. Edward was confident of that. But that didn’t mean that Siegfried would be as hopeful as he and Daphne were. He would just have to pray that his son would come around over time.

It was then that another thought occurred to him: what if this wasn’t what Siegfried wanted anymore? His son was almost a man now. It wouldn’t be long before they would be sending him to continue his education at a university and then veterinary college. Did Siegfried still want to think about a younger sibling at this stage of his life? What if instead of joy there was disappointment over this new arrival?

Edward dreaded the thought and did his best to brush it aside. Maybe this wasn’t how Siegfried thought things would go, but he was sure to welcome this new addition to the family once he or she arrived. It had been his greatest wish as a child, and Edward refused to believe that Siegfried had discarded it completely. There simply couldn’t be any other outcome.

At least, that was the only outcome Edward would allow himself to believe.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The next few months brought about many changes indeed.

Edward hired a nurse to help look after Daphne, and their housekeeper began to work only part time in the Farnon household. As a result, Edward ended up spending less time at the laboratory and more time taking care of his wife along with helping around the house however he could. He usually contributed by trying his hand at the cooking, a responsibility that included plenty of trial and error on his part in the pursuit of edible meals.

There were neither the usual family vacations, nor any of the elaborate parties that they usually had for birthdays or anniversaries during this time. The temporary reduction in Edward’s pay and increase in house staff made it so that all of them had to be much more economical in their habits.

For his part, Siegfried began to take part time and one off jobs to pay for the upkeep of the family pets so as to put less strain on the family budget. The extra money this created became even more important when Edward had to place Daphne in the hospital for the last month of her pregnancy.

Throughout all these changes, Edward had been relieved to note that neither his wife’s spirits nor his son’s seemed to be affected by all of these changes. It was as if everyone had decided that doing without for a while was no true hardship. Not when the payoff could be something so precious.

However, Edward was concerned that Siegfried did not show the same level of enthusiasm for possibly getting a new sibling as he had in the past. Of course, some of that was probably due to having so many other things on his mind: his studies, his odd jobs and his chosen professional path. Not to mention all the other activities and events that a teenage boy tends to turn his mind toward. Including a few of the local girls in the village.

Still, Siegfried appeared almost ambivalent at times over how this new arrival could impact the Farnon household. Edward still had no doubts that Siegfried would treat his new sibling kindly. But mere civility and tolerance were not what Edward was hoping for. He wanted this new brother or sister to be a true friend for Siegfried. Someone who his son could share a closeness and camaraderie that was unique to siblings.

Although, as the time grew closer and closer to when the baby was due, Edward began to wonder if this would even be possible with the age difference that they would have from the beginning. Also, with Siegfried soon moving on to university and veterinary studies, it was likely that he would miss out on most of his new sibling’s childhood.

When he was alone and had nothing else to distract him, Edward began to wonder if a real bond could even be forged when obstacles like this would exist from the onset. It was a disquieting thought and one that grew more and more difficult to ignore.

* * *

 

Edward had been so watched in case anything started to go wrong; he had been surprised when a relatively calm call came from the hospital.

“Mr. Farnon, your wife has gone into labor. Everything looks fine so far, but the doctor thinks you should come as soon as possible.”

Edward had just gotten on his coat when Siegfried walked in the door, coming home from his job at the stables.

“It’s started, Siegfried,” Edward said as he dashed out the door. “I’ll let you know as soon as possible how it went.”

* * *

 

As it turned out, it was another late night before Edward got home.

When he walked inside, he found a dying flame in the fireplace and a dim light that had been left on for him in the living room. There, he also found Siegfried asleep on the couch, a book having fallen into his lap. Edward chuckled softly at the sight.

He bent down and took his son by the arm, giving him a firm, but gentle shake.

“Siegfried?”

Siegfried’s eyes flew open, the book dropping onto the floor. “Wha….?” He blinked a few more times and sat up. “Father. What…Mother, is she….?”

Edward crouched in front of him and placed his hands onto his son’s upper arms. For a moment, he just gazed at him, a growing smile on his face.

“It’s a boy, Siegfried,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “A beautiful little boy. And he’s perfect. Just like you were. Healthy and happy. Already smiling. I can’t wait for you to meet him. And Mother is fine, Siegfried. Granted, she will need time to rest once she gets home, but she will recover.”

Edward’s hands tightened their grip on Siegfried’s arms. His eyes were shining with pure joy. “Siegfried, do you understand? You have a brother.”

Siegfried gaped at him, still having not said a word. Edward understood. It had taken him several moments before he was able to respond to the doctor’s happy announcement once it was over. He imagined that this news must be just as unreal and difficult to absorb for his son as he had found it.

Unable to just wait any longer, Edward patted Siegfried’s arms and stood up. He lit more lights and went straight over the record player. It might have been late at night, but Edward was sure that his neighbors had learned to ignore his sessions with Wagner by now. He picked up the first record he could find and set it up to play. As soon as the music started, Edward closed his eyes and smiled even more, the music coursing through his body.

A couple minutes later, he opened his eyes and remembered that there were plenty of people he needed to call to inform them of this wonderful event. He only turned the music down enough so that he could carry on a conversation with each of them.

* * *

 

Three days later, Daphne came home from the hospital, still looking far more frail and exhausted than Edward had ever seen her. The doctor informed them before Edward came to take her home that it would now be impossible for Daphne to have any more children due to the measures they had had to take to deliver this baby.

It was a disappointment, but both of them found it hard to wallow in it for long. Especially whenever either of them got to hold the bundle currently in Edward’s arms.

Siegfried was there to meet them when they walked into the house. He only got a moment to give his mother the briefest of greetings before the nurse began to usher Daphne to her bedroom.

Once they were gone, Edward walked over to his son. “Siegfried, come here and meet your new brother, Tristan.”

Siegfried gave him a look that somehow managed to be incredulous and wry at the same time. “Tristan? Father….”

Edward’s grin became sheepish, but it did not falter in the slightest. “Yes, I know, but it really does suit him. You’ll see, he looks like a Tristan. Here now, you hold him.”

Siegfried looked unsure, but he accepted the bundle and allowed Edward to guide his hands so the baby would be properly supported. Then Edward moved the blankets around so Siegfried could get a better look at him. They both peered down at a slumbering face which was framed by wispy blond hair.

Once he had done that, Edward watched Siegfried. He guessed that his son was unclear as to how this baby looked like a Tristan, but that was probably just one of many questions Siegfried had about his new brother.

Suddenly, the baby’s eyes opened, revealing the same bright blue that was in Edward and Siegfried’s eyes. Soon, Tristan’s eyes focused on Siegfried, and a wide toothless smile appeared.

Edward laughed. “See, he likes you already. Say ‘hello’ to him, Siegfried.”

“Hello,” Siegfried murmured. His son was clearly still in a haze, and Edward waited for any sign of how Siegfried felt about this new arrival.

Tristan responded by smiling even more and letting out a sound that could only be taken as a giggle. Tiny hands reached up and grasped one of Siegfried’s fingers.

Siegfried blinked in surprise and slowly a smile began to appear on his face.

“Hello, Tristan,” he said, waggling the finger that Tristan had a hold of. Tristan seemed to enjoy this new game, clutching at the finger in his hands and trying to pull it toward his mouth.

Siegfried laughed. “That’s my finger you got there, little brother. I’ll want it back.”

Tristan seemed to pay him no mind and kept on curling and uncurling his hands around Siegfried’s finger while burbling away happily. Clearly getting to the spirit of things, Siegfried made a play of starting to draw his hand away, but then always stopping as soon as Tristan made another grab for it.

Meanwhile, Edward stood close by, grinning. His heart felt like bursting with joy as he watched his sons interact for the first time. Of course, it was much too early to know what the future would hold for these newly acquainted brothers, but watching the smiles and laughter on their faces warmed Edward’s heart.

That was the moment when Edward became convinced that Siegfried and Tristan could become very close indeed.

* * *

 

About a year later, Edward Farnon sat in his living room, gazing out at the beautiful sunny day outside. He chuckled as he thought about how time had a way of repeating itself while holding Tristan in his lap. He used to hold Siegfried this way years ago, and the two of them would watch as sunlight filled the room in the afternoon, brightening every corner.

Even after many afternoons like this of recently, it still felt amazing to Edward that he could be this happy by just repeating so many things he had done before.

Edward looked down at Tristan who was currently sucking his thumb while still managing to smile. He was still the same cheerful baby that he had been on the day he was born. Sure, he could get a little fussy at times, but it was no trick at all to soothe him back to his usual happy self. The fact was, Tristan was an easy baby to care for. Much like his brother had been, actually, although many who only knew Siegfried as the willful individual he had become would never believe it.

He leaned back in his chair and patted Tristan’s back. Even after all these months, Edward still couldn’t believe how fortunate he was to experience fatherhood again after years of disappointment and loss.

However, no matter how content he was at this moment, he couldn’t escape the feeling that his fortunes had finally turned.

War, unexpected and bewildering, was breaking out all over Europe. It was only a matter of time before England would get involved, and Edward knew he needed to do something before then.

It hadn’t been an easy decision to make. In fact, several times, he almost changed his mind by reminding himself that he was needed here. That he had a wife who loved him dearly and sons who were looking to him for guidance and care. But every time he told himself that, he would then think of all the other husbands who faced the prospect of leaving their wives and children and yet still chose to serve the causes of king and country.

In the end, there were only so many times he could confront this reality before he could no longer stop himself from acting on it. He went to the local recruitment office and signed up. He had been interested in flying planes for a while and had even learned a bit about flying from a friend of his brother, Edgar, who had a plane of his own. Thus, he hoped he could join the Royal Flying Core, but also knew that he would settle with wherever they decided to send him.

That same week, he sold off all of the land holdings he had inherited from his family over the years and put the money into a trust for his family. A part of him hated that he would not be able to give his sons those properties when they came of age. However, Edward wanted to be sure that, no matter what happened, his family would not become destitute without his income. Besides, land was land and making sure his sons would have the means to seek fortunes of their own choosing was far more important.

Then came the hardest part: telling Daphne about what he had done.

She ended up crying for hours after he told her. And then there was an entire day when she refused to speak to him. After that, however, the ever-patient love in Daphne’s heart took back over, and she simply asked that he spend as much time as he could with her and the children until he had to leave, a condition Edward was more than happy to concede to.

Almost as hard was the moment he informed Siegfried of the decision he had made. Edward’s heart had ached as he watched expressions of confusion, hurt, and anger flit across Siegfried’s face. He prepared himself for the flash of temper he expected from his son and was shocked when it never came. The fact that Siegfried never said a word about only made it more difficult for Edward to deal with.

Edward drew Tristan closer to him. At that moment, the sorrow that had him so preoccupied today was centered around Tristan. He kept thinking about all the moments he was sure to miss from his infant son’s childhood: the first words, the first steps and the growing sense of wonder as Tristan discovered so many new experiences from the world around him. All those wonderful moments Edward had cherished from Siegfried’s childhood and had longed to experience again.

Even more importantly, he worried about how Tristan would manage without him. If his younger son would have everything he needed as he grew. Granted, he knew that Daphne would always adore Tristan and would be careful with the money that was put aside to maintain the household and fund his sons’ educations.

But he still felt more than a twinge of worry over the prospect of Tristan not having a father around even if it would only be for a short while.

Of course, Tristan would also have Siegfried, but Edward still wasn’t completely sure how the relationship between his sons would unfold. Siegfried had shown a lot of interest in Tristan and dutifully did his part to help take care of him. However, Edward still wondered if his sons would develop a warm, fraternal affection for each other that would last a life time or if they would slowly grow apart, the distance between their ages creating an impossible gulf between them.

“Father?”

Edward looked up to see Siegfried standing in front of him. Behind him, Bruce Twelvetrees, an old friend from Edward’s university days, was tapping his watch.

“All right, Bruce, I know we need to be going,” Edward nodded. “Just give me five more minutes, all right? I need to have a word with my son.”

“All right, Eddie,” Bruce said with a lopsided grin. “Just five though. Any later than that and we’ll probably miss our train.”

Bruce went back toward the door and reached down to grab the large duffel bag sitting next to it. “Here, I’ll get this for you.” He lifted it with more than a little difficulty and awkwardly slung it across his shoulders. “What’d you pack in here? An entire laboratory? Well, I’ll see you out at the car.”

Edward laughed as he watched Bruce struggle with the bag as he walked out the door. Then he turned his attention back to his sons. He carefully stood up while maintaining his secure hold on Tristan.

“Siegfried…I need you to know how very proud I am of you and that I will be thinking of you and your brother every moment that I’m gone.” He placed a hand onto his son’s shoulder. “And I want you to know how much I wish your mother and I could have given you a younger brother sooner. I know it was your greatest wish to have a brother to keep you company and to grow up with, and I am sorry that it didn’t work out that way.”

“It’s all right,” Siegfried insisted. “You and Mother…you did everything for me. I’ve been happy.”

Edward smiled at him. “You always did make the best of things, no matter how they turned out.” Then he looked down at Tristan who was still sucking his fingers.

“Siegfried, I know that Tristan isn’t what you expected, but I’m asking you to give your baby brother a chance. He’s a sweet, happy baby, and I’m certain he’ll continue to be that way as he grows older.”

Edward looked up and made sure to look Siegfried in the eye. “And I firmly believe that he’ll be a good brother for you if you give him that chance. Oh I know that it won’t seem like having a brother at first with how little he is. But as he gets older, I think you’ll find that the span of years between you will mean less and less.”

Edward lifted Tristan up and handed him over to Siegfried. Siegfried accepted him with an uncertain look on his face, but also without hesitation. Soon, Siegfried had Tristan propped up against his chest with the practiced ease of a brother who had done this many times before. Tristan laid his head against Siegfried’s shoulder, one hand clinging to his brother’s shirt.

Edward grinned at the sight and then placed both of his hands onto Siegfried’s shoulders.

“Siegfried…I need you to promise me something.”

“What is it?”

“Promise me that you will look after Tristan. That you’ll be there for him when he needs you and even when he thinks he doesn’t.” Edward squeezed Siegfried’s shoulders. “I know that I am placing a lot of responsibility onto you. And if I could lessen this burden, I would. But…I need to know that you’ll be here for Tristan while I’m gone. Please Siegfried.”

“Don’t worry, Father,” Siegfried said with a firm nod. “I’ll keep an eye on him. I promise.”

Edward smiled at him again, his eyes growing moist. He patted Siegfried’s arms one more time and then reached down to tousle Tristan’s hair. “Goodbye, Tristan…Siegfried….”

Slowly and with painful steps, Edward picked up his coat from the back of the couch and walked away. He had already said his goodbyes to Daphne and knew that he wouldn’t be able to go through with his decision if he tried to spend another moment with her before he left.

Edward shrugged the coat on as he trotted out from the house and didn’t look back as he got into the car.

It wasn’t until the engine started that he finally turned around and looked back at the home he was leaving behind. Siegfried was standing out front, waving at him while still holding onto Tristan with his other arm. Tristan blinked several times in the bright sunshine and then waggled some fingers at him in what Edward chose to believe was a farewell gesture.

Edward continued to stare and wave back until his sons disappeared from view. Then he turned forward in his seat, a silent gloom enveloping him.

Somewhere, deep in his heart, Edward had a terrible premonition that this could be the last time he would ever see his family and that Tristan would be in Siegfried’s hands from now on. It crushed his heart to think that he might never be reunited with his sons.

Still, he gained some comfort in his firm belief that Siegfried would keep his word and take good care of Tristan. That trust he held in his soul would simply have to be enough.

For Edward Farnon, it was the end of a season, and now, he would only be able to carry the precious memories of what life had given him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who is interested, another one of my pre-canon fics, From Loss, is the sequel to this story.


End file.
